Session agreements can stir up a surprising amount of angst for coaches—even experienced ones.
If you’ve ever thought, “Why is it so hard to get a good agreement?” you’re not alone.
And no, it’s not because you don’t understand coaching or somehow missed an important memo.
Many coaches treat the session agreement like a mental checklist:
• What outcome does the client want?
• Why does it matter to them?
• How will they know they’ve achieved it?
• What needs to happen in this session?
Although technically correct, in real conversation, this approach can feel stiff, awkward, and disconnected.
The Subtle Shift That Changes Everything
Here’s what I’ve noticed after years of coaching and listening to coaches talk about their struggles with agreements:
When we’re focused on getting the agreement “right,” our attention often turns inward.
We start monitoring ourselves instead of staying fully with the client.
And yes, clients feel that lack of presence from their coach even if they can’t name it.
What if, instead of treating the session agreement as a separate “step” in the coaching, we recognized it for what it really is?
❌Not a requirement.
❌Not a hurdle.
❌Not something we do to satisfy a competency.
✔️But instead, an opportunity to be purposefully curious in service of the client.
Agreements as Orientation, Not Interrogation
A strong session agreement isn’t about extracting a perfect outcome statement. It’s about helping both coach and client orient to what matters right now.
When the session agreement works well, it:
• Creates shared focus
• Strengthens the coaching partnership
• Sets a clear yet flexible direction for the conversation
• Supports greater depth in the session
• And yes, allows the coach to demonstrate ICF Core Competency 3 clearly and confidently
This is where the spirit of the International Coaching Federation Core Competencies actually comes alive—not as a formula, but as presence, partnership, and trust.
Ironically, the more we relax our grip on the checklist, the more naturally the competencies tend to show up.
Common Traps Even Experienced Coaches Fall Into
If session agreements feel clunky, it’s often because of one of these common habits:
• Rushing the exploration process and choosing a direction before the client has clarity on the real problem
• Over-structuring the session or relying on formulas
• Treating the agreement as a task to be checked off a list, rather than a doorway into the client’s thinking
None of these mean you’re doing anything “wrong.”
They usually mean you care—and you want to do this well.
The good news? This is something that can be practiced, refined, and made to feel far more natural.
A Gentle Invitation
If you’ve felt that subtle tension during session agreements and want them to feel more conversational and natural—I’m offering a small, six-session group intensive focused entirely on crafting session agreements that:
• Feel natural and human
• Strengthen the coaching partnership
• Support clearer, more impactful sessions
• Meet ICF expectations without sounding forced or formulaic
This is highly experiential. We’ll practice, coach, and reflect together. It’s very much a hands-on space, not a sit-back-and-listen kind of thing.
If you’re curious:
• Starts February 5
• Meets every other Thursday, 9:00–10:30 AM Eastern / 6:00–7:30 AM Pacific
• Dates: Feb 5 & 19, March 5 & 19, April 2 & 16
• Investment: $450 (includes six group sessions plus one individual mentor coaching session with me)
If it feels like a good fit, you’re welcome to reach out for more information.
A Question to Sit With
Before you go, here’s something to reflect on:
When you think about your recent session agreements, where was most of your attention—on the client, or on getting it “right”?
Sometimes, that question alone opens up a whole new way of being in the conversation.
